4 Steps to Help Children Cope with Intense Emotions

1. Take Deep Breaths and Count to Ten

Explain to your child that while all big emotions are completely normal, some of the behaviors they trigger can be hurtful. This is why having a 'calming plan' is so important. Taking a few deep breaths and counting slowly to ten allows children to tune into their bodies—noticing physical signs like a racing heart or clenched teeth. When creating this plan together, talk about these physical sensations and emphasize how breathing deeply is a wonderful, healthy way to find peace.

2. Use Words to Express Feelings

Finding the words to say how they feel and what they need can be one of the hardest steps for children. As a parent, you can gently guide them by putting their feelings into words for them. Modeling this behavior in your own daily life is also incredibly powerful, as children learn so much by watching you.

3. Ask for Help to Solve Problems

As children grow and develop problem-solving skills, they still need the steady support of a trusted adult. Talking through a challenge helps them understand the situation and discover gentle solutions. Let your child know that asking for help is a true strength, and always keep your heart and communication channels open.

4. Give Themselves Time to Calm Down

Remind your child that calm doesn't always happen instantly. Sometimes, stepping away from a situation or trying a different comforting activity is exactly what they need. Gentle tools, like a cozy quiet corner or a personalized 'calm-down kit' filled with soothing sensory items, can make all the difference in helping them find their center.