Connecting with Your Child: 3 Questions to Ask Every Night

1. What made you smile today?
   
2. What made you sad today?
   
3. What is one thing you learned today?
   

With these three questions, my children open their hearts to me every single evening. They laugh and giggle as they remember the things they enjoyed during the day. They grow serious when talking about something that made them sad, and they beam with pride when sharing what they learned. In reality, this is a very simple conversation, but it serves a beautiful purpose: it is how we teach our boys how to communicate. Our two-year-old is just beginning to join these conversations, but he learns how to connect simply by listening to us talk with his older brother, Charbel.

Sharing is a natural part of life in our family. We want our children to feel comfortable reaching out to us as they grow older—whether they are facing a difficult situation, need a shoulder to cry on, or want to celebrate their successes. This trust doesn't just happen on its own. From a very young age, we have shown our children that family sharing is a safe, comforting space that builds a lifelong sense of security.

Through these questions, I get to see the day through my child's eyes. Sometimes he brings up something completely unexpected or shares exactly how he felt. This helps me get to know him better as a parent and allows me to share in the moments when I couldn't physically be there with him. It also gives me gentle clues if he has misinterpreted something my husband or I said or did.

These questions are also a wonderful way to foster a lifelong love of learning. They give me an opportunity to teach him that even difficult experiences—the things that made him sad—don't have to end in negativity. Mistakes are normal, and what we learn from them is incredibly valuable. As we talk, Charbel gets to practice expressing his thoughts and feelings verbally. Most of all, we both cherish these moments of laughter, hugs, and emotional growth. These bedtime rituals bring us so much closer together.

Last night, after answering the questions, he spontaneously looked at me and said, "Your turn, Mommy! What made you happy today?" It looks like our routine is going to be a two-way street now! If you don't have a similar bedtime routine, I highly recommend incorporating these three questions into your evening. These conversations have truly helped us connect, and they have become my absolute favorite moments of the day.